Self-important drama whores and their misguided bandwagon jumping groupies, what a concept, right? More like a plague, if you ask me. Honestly, I don’t know who the worst offender between the two is. Without one, the other can’t survive, and vice versa. Combined, they become a force to be reckoned with… at least until someone slaps them in the face with a “So what?” attitude and they get shut down and they have to find a new subject to toot their own horns about. We’ll refer to the two groups as SIDWs and MBJGs respectively, in the interest of time.
What is a SIDW? Well, let’s make a short list, and see what we come up with, so you can start to identify the offenders in your life:
- Constantly in crisis of some sort
- Always on one extreme or the other
- Constantly on the lookout for supporters
- Great liars
- Shy away from those who they can’t manipulate
- Willing to help, provided they gain something from it
- Goes through great effort to make sure you see their “good” points
- Can conveniently forget what others have done for them, if it suits their purposes
- Crucify someone for wronging them, while expecting a slap on the wrist for their wrongs
First on the list, but no more important than any of the other points, is “constantly in crisis of some sort”. It seems vague until you start noticing examples of it. The SIDW seems to always have something drastic going on for them, whether it be with their real life world or their internet life world. I won’t limit that to Second Life because they exist all over the place, not just SL, as I learned a long time ago when I got my social internet legs in an AOL chat room. They are always being wronged, always being held back, always the victim. They can’t conceptualize what situations they bring upon themselves, they just know that they don’t like what someone else is doing, and they want you to not only be empathetic, but to pity them and make them feel that they’re justified in their reaction. They want you to pay them attention and make them feel important, even better if they feel like they’re at the top of your list of importance in your life.
“Always on one extreme or the other” is similar to the previous point. It’s another attention seeking method. This can even be them taking the “crisis” to the next level, alluding to drastic actions. What happens when the SIDW doesn’t feel sated by the reaction to their “crisis” is exactly what this point is about. Say they share on their preferred social networking site (such as FaceBook or MySpace, for example) that they’ve been kicked from some group. The reaction they’re looking for from their groupies is coddling and outrage, the proverbial scratch behind their ear. When that’s not enough, they’ll allude to something drastic like “the end” and “darkness” which will make the person who’s reading or listening to think of something like suicide, and elicit a more dramatic response of direct attention for the SIDW. Whereas this might be a realistic cry for help from one person, when it comes to a SIDW, it’s just manipulation.
The SIDW cannot exist without supporters, so they’re constantly looking for new ones. It’s not that they need a lot of them at one time, more that they need to replace the ones who smarten up enough to realize what’s going on, the ones who they’ve used up and no longer need, and the ones who see what’s going on, but insist on trying to circumvent the bullshit and try to get the SIDW to grow up and take some personal responsibility in life. The last being the least conducive to the SIDW’s continued success, naturally. In order to gain new supporters, different methods are used, none of which have genuine intention. They may offer something as seemingly innocent as a shoulder to cry on, act like they’re being a great defender for their “friends”; they seem to say the right things, be outraged at the right things, overall a great person to have around. If simply being there and acting like a friend isn’t enough, or if they prefer something more carnal, they might slide into the sexual side of things. This is particularly helpful in gaining the trust and support of those who have lower self-esteem, those who are looking for someone who seems to find them attractive in some sense.
Naturally the best SIDWs are great liars. Then again, it’s imperative that this skill is well developed, as it’s necessary for a good manipulator to be able to not only lie well, but to maintain it as well. They’ve likely gone through the trial and error process, learning what works and what doesn’t. Their consistent interaction with others helps them hone this skill. The lies are preferably small ones, as they’re easier to maintain, but bigger lies are easy enough when they keep the number to a minimum. The best SIDWs can lie well enough that it may take a long time for the truth to come out, and when it does, they rarely end up catching much flack for it.
A logical person realizes that a SIDW is their own worst enemy, but to the SIDW, the biggest enemy is the person they can’t easily manipulate. This one’s an obvious if you’ve been paying attention so far. If they can’t be manipulated, they can’t become an effective MBJG thereby rendering them not just useless, but dangerous. The one they can’t manipulate could see through the SIDWs bullshit and lies and reveal them for what they are. What are they? We’ll get there, grasshopper, have patience.
As was mentioned a little earlier, the SIDW doesn’t mind helping out a current or potential MBJG, because they stand to gain something from it. This can be anything from the simplest request, all the way to something more carnal. If they gain from it in some fashion, and they think they can succeed, they’re there for you. If it’s something they don’t think they’ll be successful with, won’t gain from, or if they’re already in the middle of something with someone else, they’ll either ignore your request completely, or rattle off an excuse as to why they can’t make it, sometimes throwing a random generic apology in there for good measure. This keeps the wheels greased and things moving as smoothly as they can.
The biggest effort they put out, after the first two mentioned points, would be making sure that current and potential BWJGs see their “good” points. They’re smart, sweet, sexy, charming, helpful, loyal, and the list can go on, but it’s rarely as genuine as they want you to think it is. They are smart, that’s a necessary trait of a SIDW, but it’s not always obvious intelligence. There’s a difference between being book smart and street smart, so to speak. You don’t need to be board certified to be a great mechanic, for example, you just need to have spent the time to gain the experience, and possess a talent for it. The rest often comes out in the perception of the receiver, based on the presentation given by the SIDW. Things such as loyalty are never unconditional, and like discussed in the previous paragraph, is expressly limited to what they’re gaining from the situation. If you find you’re dealing with a SIDW and any of their MBJGs, arm yourself with the knowledge and understanding that they will potentially turn on you once the SIDW has decided you’re not useful anymore, or you’re an issue.
Say you’ve spent months being a friend, offering emotional support, loyalty, a shoulder, and maybe even a sexual partner to someone who turns out to be a SIDW. You’ve stressed out, gone through many headaches, and about ruined yourself trying to be there for that person. Well, sorry, as soon as they decide they’re moving on, they do it… and don’t expect them to respect you enough to say anything first, you’re just not as important to them as they were to you. Even if you get the opportunity to confront them about it, and you can tell that they know they were wrong, you’re not going to get genuine remorse from them for what they did. Stupid enough to let them back in to your life? Don’t be surprised when history repeats itself. They haven’t changed, and you just haven’t learned your lesson yet.
Holy shit, the world is coming to an end, someone made the SIDW mad! Let hellfire rain down upon that evil person until they curl up into a fetal position and die! Yes, it really does need to be that dramatic, according to the SIDW, and if you’re a good MBJG, you’ll agree or at least keep your mouth shut and not let the SIDW think you don’t. The SIDW upset you, hurt your feelings, or truly wronged you? It’s just you being dramatic, they’d never do anything like that, and you’re exaggerating. Heaven forbid the SIDW accept responsibility for their actions. Besides, they’d never do anything that requires any type of acceptance of fault, nothing they’d have to really apologize for. Didn’t you know that already?
You did if you’re a good MBJG. If you haven’t figured it out by now, a misguided bandwagon jumping groupie is someone who sits there and feeds into the SIDW’s lies and bullshit. They might even know its lies and bullshit, but rather than calling them on it and risking being cast aside, they’d rather sit silent and enable the behavior. Without their groupies, the drama whore is nothing more than another whiney little bitch that doesn’t deserve more than a moment’s attention. See the connection yet? I hope so, this is taking longer than it should, but I felt it important to give this blight on society 15 minutes of fame as a public service to those who come across this blog and take the time to read it.
So now that you have some information under your belt, sit back and look at those around you, identify the SIDWs and the MBJGs around you and make sure you’re not one of them. SIDWs are hiding behind this created persona to conceal how miserable they are with their lives, and they want to take you down with them, using you as a stepping stone to feel better about themselves. Stroke their ego, make them feel better, get shit on in the end. It’s a never ending cycle until you actually make an effort to stop being a part of it. Remember that misery loves company, but not everyone loves misery.
My dedication to this blog post
My dedication to this blog post